“If you want to be a genuine follower of the Buddha, never retaliate when you are harmed. Always remember the four principles of positive training , which are: if someone abuses you, do not abuse him in return; if someone gets angry with you, do not get angry with him in return; if someone exposes your hidden faults, do not expose his in return; and if someone strikes you, do not strike him back.
If someone criticizes you, picking on your most sensitive points, or angrily insults you with the most offensive language, do not return like for like, no matter how difficult it is to bear. Practice patience, and never give way to anger. Take it positively, and use it as a chance to let go of your own pride. Practice generosity and compassion by giving the victory to others and being happy to lose. Allowing others to win is a characteristic of all Buddhist paths. In fact, what is there to be won or lost? From an absolute viewpoint, there is not the slightest difference between winning and losing.”
Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche